Our appointment didn't necessarily go as planned. I'm frustrated.
We got to UCRM barely in time for Ryan's appointment at 2:30. We were supposed to get there at 2 for our injection training, but unfortunately my sub showed up late, so we started our injection training, Ry had to go, and then we had to pick it back up again. Like I said in the previous post, many of my medications that I have to take are given much like the insulin I already take. The only exceptions are the single HCG shot Ryan has to give me to mature the eggs, and the progesterone in oil injections he will have to give me until we either get a negative pregnancy test or until the placenta can make enough progesterone by itself to sustain our baby (or babies!). One of the follicle-stimulating medications I take will be given by pen, and some of the sub-cutaneous injections have to be mixed before I can give them, BUT...I think I can handle it. I hope so, anyway.
Anyway, the discouraging news we got probably isn't that big of a deal to most people, but it is to me. Our intake doctor told us that were able to freeze eggs. He said it was semi-experimental still, but that it was doable. I was really excited about that. During this appointment, however, the nurse had us pull out the consent form. I told her that none of the options on the consent were what we wanted to do, that we wanted to freeze eggs. She went to talk to the director of UCRM, and he called me later in the week. He told me that we could freeze eggs, but after thawing, there was approximately a 4% chance of actually having a viable embryo. And, on top of that, freezing eggs costs an extra $2,000.
The director, Dr. Peterson, talked to us about some other statistics. He said that out of all embryos, only 1/2 survive. So if we were to create 15 embryos, if we were liberal, only about 8 would survive. If we transferred two, which I'm planning, we would have six left over. After freezing and thawing for more use, only 2/3 of those would survive, so we would only have 4 viable embryos left.
I struggle with this, still. I believe God is in control of EVERYTHING. So who's to say we wouldn't have 15 viable embryos at the end of all this? Certainly not I, nor any doctor I know of. I'm sure that many babies go home to Jesus before their mamas even know they're there. I don't mind freezing our babies as long as they are given a chance to grow inside me, and God decides whether or not they get to live their lives. Does that make sense?
I know many people don't agree with me, and that's fine. They don't have to. My own husband doesn't doesn't agree with me, but he respects how I feel. Thank God. Because people who are supposedly close to me DON'T respect that, and are so self-righteous it makes me nauseated, which is something I'd hoped to avoid until I was pregnant.
So we're waiting for the results of Ry's test, which are supposed to be in the mail this week. I'm not sure why it takes so long. Shouldn't you know right away whether or not a sperm can penetrate an egg? I guess there's a reason why I'm just a teacher. I think we're going to be freezing some embryos. I think I'll ask that they take the 10 best eggs that are retrieved and fertilize them, transfer the best two, and freeze the rest of our babies that survive, so we can give them a chance later...I hope that will honor God. Although I don't know that I can say for sure.
I start my second med next Sunday, June 5th. It's my first injectible medication, and something I've taken before. It's called Lupron, and my doctor here in town gave me a mega-dose of it to put me into virtual menopause for three months to see if I had endometriosis. No mega-doses this time. Just small amounts to "quiet" my ovaries. I have my first ultrasound for this cycle on the 16th or something like that. The nurse gave me my detailed calendar. I should scan it so you can see how involved it is...
Anyway, when we get Ry's results, I'll try to say something about that, too...
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Another Step
Ryan and I go to Salt Lake City again tomorrow for another appointment. We're not actually going to see a doctor (I don't think, anyway). We're hoping to get there a half an hour before our appointment so that we can do injection training. I have some medications that are given intramuscularly (is that even a word?), and Ryan needs to learn how to give them to me. I know that my school nurse said that she will give me my injections, but I can't imagine having to drive over to Green River every day for the next few months.
Anyway, tomorrow when we go, we're doing our injection training. Many of the meds I have to take are just subcutaneous injections, much like my insulin injections that I already take.
Ryan also has an appointment with the andrology department. He has to provide a "sample" for dual purposes. First, we will be "freezing and storing" for our upcoming IVF cycle. This is done in case, on the day of my egg retrieval, when Ryan has to do this again, the sample isn't usable to fertilize said eggs. The second reason why Ry has to do this is a hamster egg penetration assay. This is a test that is done to determine whether Ryan's sperm is able to penetrate an egg. A hamster egg is very similar to a human egg, so that is what they use for this test. It's kind of gross, but if it does the job...
Depending on the results of the hamster egg penetration assay, we will know whether or not we will have to do ICSI during our IVF cycle. ICSI stands for inta-cytoplasmic sperm injection. If Ryan's sperm successfully penetrates the hamster egg, we can assume that his egg, when placed into a petri dish with my egg, will penetrate it. If Ryan's sperm does NOT penetrate the hamster egg, an embryologist will take a single, healthy sperm and inject it directly into an egg and see if it will develop into a healthy embryo. We are hoping for no ICSI, mainly just for cost reasons.
You may be wondering how much all of this costs, and how we're paying for this. Many of the clinics who do IVF in the northern Utah area are comparable in price. I like the University of Utah the best because they allow us to freeze eggs and sperm separately, instead of in embryo form. The University of Utah also bundles everything into a nice package for us, and really, ends up being cheaper than the other centers. I think this cycle will cost us between $10,000 and $15,000. I know that insurance doesn't cover the actual retrieval and embryo transfer, but I'm not sure about the medications. I need to check that. That cost includes my medications, all the ultrasounds I need to have, the semi-surgical egg retrieval, the preparation of the embryos, and the transfer of the embryos into my uterus. If we have to do the ICSI, it costs an extra $1000. We are paying for this with one $5000 credit card, that we hope to pay off in about six months. Thankfully Ryan just had open enrollment in benefits for his work, and we chose to max out his health savings account with $5000. I have another credit card I applied for worth $1700, and we also have a line of credit through our bank.
If this first IVF cycle isn't successful, and we have eggs and sperm banked, the subsequent cycles are MUCH more inexpensive, and much easier on my body. I won't have to have egg retrieval, where they place me under conscious sedation and, with a needle guided by ultrasound, harvest mature eggs, and I won't have to take the horrible medications that help produce all of those eggs. I will only have to take medications to help build the lining of my uterus. I think the subsequent IVF cycles are under $5000, and we can save that in just a few months time in order to pay for another one.
It's scary, and it's kind of stepping off a cliff hoping there's an unseen net below that will catch us. We are praying, and having faith that God knows the desperate desire within our hearts to be parents. He might choose to say "no" right now...and that will be hard, no doubt, but...He is in control of all of this.
Praise Him!
Anyway, tomorrow when we go, we're doing our injection training. Many of the meds I have to take are just subcutaneous injections, much like my insulin injections that I already take.
Ryan also has an appointment with the andrology department. He has to provide a "sample" for dual purposes. First, we will be "freezing and storing" for our upcoming IVF cycle. This is done in case, on the day of my egg retrieval, when Ryan has to do this again, the sample isn't usable to fertilize said eggs. The second reason why Ry has to do this is a hamster egg penetration assay. This is a test that is done to determine whether Ryan's sperm is able to penetrate an egg. A hamster egg is very similar to a human egg, so that is what they use for this test. It's kind of gross, but if it does the job...
Depending on the results of the hamster egg penetration assay, we will know whether or not we will have to do ICSI during our IVF cycle. ICSI stands for inta-cytoplasmic sperm injection. If Ryan's sperm successfully penetrates the hamster egg, we can assume that his egg, when placed into a petri dish with my egg, will penetrate it. If Ryan's sperm does NOT penetrate the hamster egg, an embryologist will take a single, healthy sperm and inject it directly into an egg and see if it will develop into a healthy embryo. We are hoping for no ICSI, mainly just for cost reasons.
You may be wondering how much all of this costs, and how we're paying for this. Many of the clinics who do IVF in the northern Utah area are comparable in price. I like the University of Utah the best because they allow us to freeze eggs and sperm separately, instead of in embryo form. The University of Utah also bundles everything into a nice package for us, and really, ends up being cheaper than the other centers. I think this cycle will cost us between $10,000 and $15,000. I know that insurance doesn't cover the actual retrieval and embryo transfer, but I'm not sure about the medications. I need to check that. That cost includes my medications, all the ultrasounds I need to have, the semi-surgical egg retrieval, the preparation of the embryos, and the transfer of the embryos into my uterus. If we have to do the ICSI, it costs an extra $1000. We are paying for this with one $5000 credit card, that we hope to pay off in about six months. Thankfully Ryan just had open enrollment in benefits for his work, and we chose to max out his health savings account with $5000. I have another credit card I applied for worth $1700, and we also have a line of credit through our bank.
If this first IVF cycle isn't successful, and we have eggs and sperm banked, the subsequent cycles are MUCH more inexpensive, and much easier on my body. I won't have to have egg retrieval, where they place me under conscious sedation and, with a needle guided by ultrasound, harvest mature eggs, and I won't have to take the horrible medications that help produce all of those eggs. I will only have to take medications to help build the lining of my uterus. I think the subsequent IVF cycles are under $5000, and we can save that in just a few months time in order to pay for another one.
It's scary, and it's kind of stepping off a cliff hoping there's an unseen net below that will catch us. We are praying, and having faith that God knows the desperate desire within our hearts to be parents. He might choose to say "no" right now...and that will be hard, no doubt, but...He is in control of all of this.
Praise Him!
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